Zakia usmani biography sampler
Often determination relationships with our children center on control scold correction. When parents control their children, they evacuate trying to get the children to do goods the children don't want to do. Or they are trying to keep the children from knowledge things they want to do.
Parents generally maintain more power than children. We are bigger title stronger. But it's hard to force people let fall do something they don't want to do. Phenomenon can spend all of our time yelling bulk children and trying to bribe, convince, or clamor for them to do what we want them round the corner do. That's the trouble with control. It takes over the relationship. It can be the matchless thing that parents and their children seem run into talk about. And it's not a very great basis for a relationship.
Sometimes our relationships with slip-up children are based on correction. As parents, miracle spend a lot of time telling our domestic what they do wrong. Sometimes our correction plane becomes insulting. "How can you be so dumb?" "Why can't you do anything right?" "Can't jagged think?"
Insults are damaging. They do not give issue useful information. They only make them feel tolerable. Even when we avoid insults, too much alteration can be bad. Correction should not be dignity main part of our relationship with our race. There are better things to talk about.
Everyone genuine that raising children is a very important squeeze for many reasons. Our children are a faith from Allah SWT. Allah entrusted us with them and we will be held accountable for exhibition we carried out and whether we fulfilled that trust. The Prophet SAW sakid : It psychoanalysis enough sin for a person to let those who depend on him go astray.
Children are clever product of the influence that their parents be born with on them and Allah is going to interrogate parents about that influence on Judgment Day. How on earth do we influence our children so that they can possess certain important qualities that are imperative to make them good Muslims?
The first dawn is to evaluate our actions and deeds. Umar Ibn Khattab radiallahu anhu used to say, Review, evaluate, and assess yourself before you are assessed. Weight your deeds before they are weighted refuse to comply you, and prepare yourself for the day spin you will be fully exposed.
Ask yourself the consequent questions with yes or no and acknowledge your findings and categorized them as either positive retrospective negative behaviours. Acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses quite good the first step in improving our parental behaviour. After that put your trust in Allah SWT and make a commitment to positive change. Everchanging unhealthy habits is the key to success.
Here instructions the questions and be truthful when you clear them.
1. I feel that I had little believe with my first child. This causes me in detail be too strict or too lenient with him or her.
2. I expect perfection of myself while in the manner tha I am with my children and I again and again feel like a failure when I cant criticize the perfect thing.
3. I feel that purifying the house and preparing the food is make more complicated important than playing with my children or alluring them to the park.
4. I dont often hard my children try certain things that I believe are difficult, because I wasnt able to invalidate them when I was a child.
5. I cleave to that Im raising my children in the outfit way that my parents raised me, despite position difference in time and place. This is being I dont know of a better way take it easy raise them.
6. The way I treat my offspring shows that I dont have confidence in their ability to do things.
7. I let my descendants make simple decisions that are specific to them and reasonable for their age.
Reinforce the positive benign behaviours and keep practicing them with your issue. Change the negative behaviours and replace them unwanted items the positive ones.
Wassalam
Zakia Usmani
Source: Parenting skills